Month: June 2014

General Rules of Loyal Morality

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Islamic Democratic Pakistan is a developing, progressing and emerging country, atleast this is what the statistics say and atleast this is what I have observed all through my life. Still there are a lot of set-backs and a lot of things need to be improved. One of the major set-backs in the country is the power crisis and as a result, we have electrical power load shedding at regular intervals. This is not pleasant undoubtedly but on the brighter aspect, people claim to have discovered their families during these hours of power load shedding more like the concept of ‘family therapy’ in well developed countries, we get this treatment of family therapy forcefully and for free.

During such a session, sitting with my family discussing random topics, there was a discussion on the people who have served Pakistan with their lives, with their properties, with their services, with their intellect and with their love. For instance, Muhammad Ali Jinnah, the founder of Pakistan, donated his entire property to the educational institutes but his granddaughter is living an unknown life of misery in the same country that he founded. Soldiers who get martyred and give away their lives for the country enter their names in the list of ‘golden people’ but the families remain in suffering behind them.

While discussion, I said something unintentionally that has kept my attention since that moment. I said that in order to live a prosperous life, one should not be so selfless. I have been wondering about the authority of this statement since that time. We have been taught about not being too selfish, we have been taught to have soft corners for others but a session just ended at a conclusion that we should not be selfless.

Theoretically this is not true but practically I suffered it when I became too selfless to fall in love with her and she couldn’t become too selfless to love me back and I suffered that. I became selfless when I assigned that much of my love, respect, devotion, affection, honesty and sincerity to her and she didn’t even acknowledge that and i suffered that. I became selfless when I waited for hours and days for her just to show up and she didn’t even care to let me clarify my stance and i suffered that as well. I became selfless and as the historical evidences dictate, the ones who become selfless are the ones who suffer in the end and so did I.

Yes, I posed a correct statement. One should not spend a selfless life. One should be very selfish and possessive about one’s life and one’s priorities because at the end of the day all that matters is the quality of this once awarded life that you spend. I never had a doubt about what I said about being selfless, rather what struck me most is the doubtful authority of the moral principles that teach us to have a soft corners for others, that teach us to live for others, that teach us to respect others and that teach us to return good when someone does good to you. I am afraid of the moral customs carved inside my character because I am afraid that this currency is no more the current currency of the world we live in today.

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When, my love, I kissed ‘YOU’

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Saw people around the bed I lay

Wondered a moment who were all they,

Heard that some came right away

Others were rushing on their way,

 

Stood up and walked around

Astonished I wasn’t, to my body, bound,

Patches of my heart, in my body, I found

People talked about me sitting all around,

 

So the moment had finally arrived

Of my life, I had been deprived,

Wounds of the heart had much thrived

With my darling death, I such dived,

 

Wanted to see someone, someone I wanted to talk to

Searched around people when, to see my last face, they queued,

Wanted to let you see me, wanted to have your last view

Alas, there was no me and then there was no you

A Tide of Two Banks

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Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile, a word of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.

They say that there is always a way. They say you can reach there if you really wanted to get there. They say that impossible says that ‘I Am Possible’. And they say that the approach is the optimistic approach. It’s just the glass is always half filled and there’s always a shine after a night’s thunder storm.

There’s another factual saying:

My practicality consists in this, in the knowledge that if you beat your head against the wall it is your head which breaks and not the wall.

I have always been swinging between the two twin banks of the lake known as optimism and pessimism. As an optimist, I believe that there is always a way, the glass is half filled and there always will be another chance. But when I get close to the other bank, the glass seems half emptied, an opportunity has been missed and there doesn’t seem to be another probable chance.

Irrespective of the debate of ‘the better approach’ of the two, these two banks go parallel to each other but these two cross each other at some points leaving you with a question about the consequences of your developed hopes and about your approach. There’s always this tide that shifts you to one of the banks and that tide is the reaction to your attempts.

You constantly keep on calculating the odds of finding something good ignoring the fact that there might not be any possible way for you to get there. There might not be any place for you to fit in. She might not be standing there for anxiously welcoming you. You might be just another agent knocking on the door, with high hopes though, offering something that is not desired at the moment.

This is when the two banks cross each other and that tide of harshness takes you into the zone of the pessimistic bank. And that’s when the practicality informs you that you have been beating the wall with your head, expecting that something meaningful will come out, you’re not doing the right thing!!

The Habits of my Addictions

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It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past but we cannot relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.

Almost everyone would agree with the quoted words. How can one not possibly agree with the statement? All that I’ve got in my hands is my present, all that I can feel is my present, and all that I can act upon is the present. Yesterday is indeed history and tomorrow is a mystery. Who knows what tomorrow is going to bring and who cares what he ate yesterday. But the gift of the moment is this present, which is why it’s called present.

An idealistically justified and proven case advises people to be there in their present. But on the contrary, people tend to skip the spur of the moment. People can’t bear the loads of present at times, for instance, when you’re struck in a massive traffic jam, when you’re trapped to see a boring movie with friends, when you just have to work in a real hot weather, at times when you feel like doing something but can’t exactly recall what it was, when you’re driving alone and the road reminds you of someone very dear to you and when you’re really upset about mess that came out of your life and you just lean back and dip your soul into the sauce of those beautiful moments that have passed away.

At times I wonder onto the double standards sciences have to offer you. Medical science advises you to be there in your present so to be active and healthy. But to a patient who’s trying to recover from a nervous breakdown, the same science advises him to take his mind off of the hardcore ongoing matters and try to relax his mind. Mind relaxes itself by thinking of the things that give you a feel of peace, happiness and love. When mind does so, it certainly misses the spur of the moment, the gift of ‘now’, commonly known as ‘present’.

Sometimes I question why that person is experiencing a state of being in a ‘nervous breakdown’. There could be very versatile reasons, pressure, depression and anxiety to name a few. Pressure may be of the ongoing situations that a person has to focus when he’s having his ‘present’, failing to rise to the moment might get him depressed and moment to moment ‘presents’ of depression might take him to a closed street where he meets his flight from the ‘present’, which could be termed as nervous breakdown.

What difference it makes if you’re just sitting there doing nothing with the ‘present’ of the present and you lean back thinking of that joyous voice that tunes you, thinking of those glamorous walks that bring you calm, thinking of those moments that soothe you when you waited for her, thinking of the relief of that first sight when you finally saw her and planning of the date you have after a couple of days, what difference would it make if you steal some of the stressful ‘presents’ to transform your state of mind from the taste of anxiety towards the energy to face the presents of stress and to have the energy to move on.

One should happily and deliberately trade a bundle of happiness at the proposed cost, at any cost because…

Sometimes you have to let the ‘present’ go!!

And so it happens in LOVE….. Sometimes!!!!

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Love is just an instance of a man’s life but it’s the story of the life of a woman. This is what a very successful female writer wrote in one of hers novels. It is said that when two people live together, their thinking patterns match with each other’s. But surprisingly there’s a story that comes to my mind by another very successful writer of Pakistan, who happens to be the husband of the woman I just quoted above. The story doesn’t coincide with the statement of a woman’s theory about love. The story goes this way:

I was very close to my elder brother who used to love me very much. I used to share everything with him, I used to child him on everything and yet he never got back to me onto anything. He always just stood there, with a smile on his face and was ready to give me a hug when I finished. It is one cold afternoon and I am on the roof of my house. I am looking at a groom who’s waiting for his bride and I know that beneath this roof, my brother is also looking at same scene. I once read my brother’s diary in his absence onto which he had written about the same girl who was the bride now. The diary said the following:

It was a very fine day today, I had been talking to her the entire day. She kept on laughing at her silly jokes, we played and then I read her a book. While listening to me, she constantly played with a ring on my finger. I stopped for a while and asked her that why women have always been fond of jewelry. She said it’s just not about jewelry, it’s about the person who’s wearing it. That day it felt that I am the richest of all the persons in this world. I have the one I love and who loves me back even more, though what she said is very small but what she said is very deep.

And today when the bride came, she didn’t even look at my brother like she never knew him and went away with her groom in a very magnificent ride. All my brother is left with are the memories enclosed in those pages of his diary.

When a woman writes today, she claims that love is the story of the life of a woman and it’s just an instance of a man’s life. Even today, according to the statistics researched, women are responsible for most of the breakups and according to the statistics stated by women, women are the ones being the victims of these relationships. Even today, it’s thought that a man moves onto some other woman right after his breakup with one. But on the contrary, according to a latest research, men are most affected when a relationship ends and but still, according to a woman, it’s the life of a woman which is most affected out of a relationship.

This reminds me of the fact that very cruel things can come out of a person who thinks of himself as a victim (and in this case, thinks of herself as a victim).

Psychological Technology

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We all live in an age of hi-tech gadgets, smart devices and in a global village with an ongoing war on cultural reforms. We catch too much each moment, the news, media, entertainment, blogs, forums, columns, seminars, technological updates, advancements in medicines, weather forecasts, stock market trends and the list goes on. Technology that was considered magnificent in its youth is now termed as ‘classic’. Classic cars, telephones with a dial, music players, and type writers are some examples of the old stuff.

However there are some things that I can neither put into the old classy category nor into the state of the art technological stuff, paper & pen and human brain, for instance. In my earlier school days my teachers used to advise students not to cram, rather understand the concepts and I always used to ask myself how am I supposed to put the understood concept to work if I haven’t memorized it and I’d have to cram it for the purpose stated.

Then came the idea of open book tests, which unfortunately I could not experience at least in my educational career. I had to memorize most of the stuff and surprisingly I still put that crammed stuff to use and I enjoy doing so. Before the era of modern communications, there were classy telephone sets with a dial. I used to remember all my friends phone number, we didn’t use to have very long conversations but we knew the statuses surprisingly without even Facebook.

Then the era of technology flooded every aspect of life. Internet from dial up to hi speed broadband and wireless networks, cell phones from simple sets to today’s smart phones, computers from personal computers to smart tablets, gadgets from a wrist watch to Samsung gear. People welcomed the revolution with open arms and close minds. Everything new introduced in the market has now become a status symbol.

Running this technological marathon, I forgot when did I start to surrender myself to this technology, when did I start to stop memorizing rather stop ‘cramming’ my friends telephone numbers, when did I start preferring to store the moments inside my cell phone rather than inside my brain, when did I start to look at the scene through the lens of my cell phone camera rather than the lens of my eyes, when did I start letting this technology live my life instead of me, when did I start letting these gadgets take over my mind and memories, when did I start getting addicted to this newly introduced technology and when did i stop  considering what I had crammed a very long ago.

And what I crammed was: Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism (or technology in current scenario).