Walked toward an end- dead
Laid down, rested his head
Told not to get up
Neither for water, nor for bread
Without the spice, goes that taste
Ran to manage that hasty haste
When bliss is a ‘satisfaction’ from ‘now’
Its ‘now’, he shouldn’t waste
It’s when the hunger of life grew
When he stopped his soul to chew
When he said, “It’s for him this time”
It was then he decided to start anew
I remember myself asking a question from my high school science teacher. The question was that if we kept on absorbing the knowledge for a huge part of our lives, when we were eventually going to utilize everything we learned and absorbed all through our lives. I was probably looking for the sentence that we need to utilize the knowledge we absorbed previously to absorb the newly discovered knowledge.
The age was anxious, the question was simple enough but was insightful. I don’t remember the answer he gave but I do remember that since then, I’ve been trying to figure out a lot of questions. It’s simply curious that how curious a man can get in satisfying his curiosity for answers. It’s simply curious how this piece of meat has spiritual needs which demand something other than the need of another mere piece of meat. I have found out a lot of answers since then. And unfortunately while finding these answers, I have stepped across a lot of doors that are now locked and have shut themselves down upon me when I want to go back. Now I want to unlock and go past the barrier of time but I cannot do so. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get the door unlocked to provide me a safe passage back to that beautiful zone of my comfort.
In discovering the answers, in letting go of dear ones, in forgetting the amount of care needed to take the decisions to come across a door that cannot be unlocked once you get on the other side, I have gathered an understanding of what happened and a wisdom of what should have happened. The understandings I gathered, I now call them as Some Untold Manifestations of Insights and Ideologies-Ubiquitously Manifested and Understood as my beliefs, admirations and affirmations.
I believe that there are no backups. There are no backups for your actions, for your plans, for the ones you love and for the ones who love you. There are no backups for the time you spend. There are no backups for the loss you suffer when you go around with the attitude,” What do I have to lose?” Well the answer is that it is you that you are going to lose. You’re going to lose it whether that be your time, health, youth, career or the shape of your image in someone’s eyes. Whether that be love and the person you love. Whether that be you and your life. You and everything you own is at stake every moment the clock ticks away from your life.
I believe in love but I also now believe that the other person is a mortal human being. I believe that in essence every human being is to think for himself or herself. Every human has the right to secure himself or herself. Every human should be taken literally and not for granted. No matter who the other person is. No matter whether that person is the person you thought was destined to be bound to you for the rest of the life and for the life afterwards. It doesn’t matter at all. The other person is just a mortal human being. The other person needs an investment from you, needs to be appreciated by you, needs to be taken care of, and needs to be given respect in return to the love devoted for you.
I believe nothing exists like unconditional love. I believe that mortals don’t fall for mortals by the mere bonding of unconditional love. It’s true that there is such a thing as love but it’s also true that there is no such thing as unconditional love. I now believe that love is a mirror. It’s only conditioned to show you back what you show it in the very first place. It’s only conditioned to give back to you what you give in initially. It’s only conditioned to get unconditional if at first you are unconditionally involved with it. I believe that unconditional love needs a condition of being unconditional with it.
I believe in not letting go. Whether that be your interests, your career, your hopes, the image of yourself in your own sight, the one you love or the person you want to be. Whether the other person is not giving you what you think you deserve, whether he’s not giving you that unconditional love you’ve devoted, whether he’s being uncomforting in your life, I believe in not letting go as far as you know that you are the one he’s with. I once read a story about a gold miner who kept on digging for a long time without any luck and gave up eventually only to discover at a later stage in his life that he was just a couple of feet away from all the gold he had been looking for. That man regretted his entire life the moment he let go of the digging.
May be the mirror in front of the other person is getting all blurred up and not showing him the unconditional love he’s getting. May be the situation needs some time in getting fixed, what if the last step you refused to take was the final step towards what you always dreamt about? What if I would have been awarded, had I been patient till taking this last step? And it happens more often than we realize that the thing we wanted was ready to welcome us just a step ahead. I believe in taking that last step ahead no matter how difficult the times are.
I believe that a belief is the most powerful gift from God to men on earth. It’s a belief that unites you with you creator. It’s a just a belief that there is a creator who so perfectly created everything that since the dawn of this universe, we are still trying to discover the amazing miracles He performed and yet we are here with just a fractional understanding. A mere belief equips you with a God, with a Creator, with a purpose, with a reason worth living for and with a purpose worth dying for. I didn’t believe in fairy tales or mere chances of luck. I never believed that ‘not letting go’ could be this much important. But as a matter of fact it is more important than I think it is. Belief in something is more important that I realized.
I have always been hiding and running from SUMII. But now it’s time to confess that the essence of my life is SUMII. If I gained anything in my life, it’s SUMII. If there’s an insight and an upside for me, if I earned anything in my life and if anything is important than all of the rest, it’s SUMII.
Life is nothing but patches of days
You have to live them all, there’s no other ways
And then in one of the patches, there you came
All became beautiful, I went insane
Before I realized, for you, I had fallen
My days, my life, my heart were all stolen
This heart says you’d come, in a while, I’d be with you
And that’s a beautiful lie, but I wouldn’t argue
With every patch passing by, my love scatters
You’re the one I need, nothing else really matters
With every distorted belief that I have to run into
This heart desperately asks do I have to lose you too?
When you’re in love, you learn games
Some are good, some are just lame
You hit at times, at others you get hit on
Such pass the days while you’re alone
Then there comes a special day
When at the heart, hits that beautiful ray
The magic reveals itself but only to some
Only then you realize that special one has come
Distances of years that moment compiles
When you look at her face, your soul smiles
You have to suffer, you have to wait
But it’s worth it for that only soul mate
Sweet air of spring, in my ear, whispers
You don’t want to miss this wonderful sight of hers
Open your eyes for a joyous scream
But I want to live forever inside this wonderful dream
Having her charming smile, like an angel, there she comes
Pounding heart, shaky hands, blushing face, I don’t know what always happens
She’s just a regular being, why I fear her
Never figured it out why universe stands still when I go near her
Spring said my old friend ‘destiny’ just told
You’re going to have her, wake up and behold
I claimed destiny has always had a bad attitude
But if she told you so, express my deep gratitude
When you fall for someone special
You get out, you break the comfort shell,
Offer your heart, you offer your love
You take her to skies of devotion and far above
You don’t know whether you’ll get returned
That devoted heart, that love yearned
In those deep eyes, you want to get drowned
Lost in the valley and then never be found
Though life’s awarded once, it’s worth betting for her
You wouldn’t stop betting, if you had another
People sacrifice the present for a better tomorrow
Yet you can’t slay the moments of her sight and then live with the sorrow
When, for nothing, you have big smiles
And without noticing a thing, you walk for miles
When heart beats faster on her name
And bells start ringing in this wonderful game,
It’s then you’re in love
When you have dreams of the two of you
Holding hands when you walk on dew
When the moon seems brighter
Slowly flowing air seems pleasant and lighter
It’s then you’re in love
When you can’t sleep in the middle of night
Can’t get out of the charisma, can’t lose her sight
When heart seems to call her again and again
You see rainbows in midnight and without rain
It’s then you’re in love