Walked toward an end- dead
Laid down, rested his head
Told not to get up
Neither for water, nor for bread
Without the spice, goes that taste
Ran to manage that hasty haste
When bliss is a ‘satisfaction’ from ‘now’
Its ‘now’, he shouldn’t waste
It’s when the hunger of life grew
When he stopped his soul to chew
When he said, “It’s for him this time”
It was then he decided to start anew
I remember myself asking a question from my high school science teacher. The question was that if we kept on absorbing the knowledge for a huge part of our lives, when we were eventually going to utilize everything we learned and absorbed all through our lives. I was probably looking for the sentence that we need to utilize the knowledge we absorbed previously to absorb the newly discovered knowledge.
The age was anxious, the question was simple enough but was insightful. I don’t remember the answer he gave but I do remember that since then, I’ve been trying to figure out a lot of questions. It’s simply curious that how curious a man can get in satisfying his curiosity for answers. It’s simply curious how this piece of meat has spiritual needs which demand something other than the need of another mere piece of meat. I have found out a lot of answers since then. And unfortunately while finding these answers, I have stepped across a lot of doors that are now locked and have shut themselves down upon me when I want to go back. Now I want to unlock and go past the barrier of time but I cannot do so. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get the door unlocked to provide me a safe passage back to that beautiful zone of my comfort.
In discovering the answers, in letting go of dear ones, in forgetting the amount of care needed to take the decisions to come across a door that cannot be unlocked once you get on the other side, I have gathered an understanding of what happened and a wisdom of what should have happened. The understandings I gathered, I now call them as Some Untold Manifestations of Insights and Ideologies-Ubiquitously Manifested and Understood as my beliefs, admirations and affirmations.
I believe that there are no backups. There are no backups for your actions, for your plans, for the ones you love and for the ones who love you. There are no backups for the time you spend. There are no backups for the loss you suffer when you go around with the attitude,” What do I have to lose?” Well the answer is that it is you that you are going to lose. You’re going to lose it whether that be your time, health, youth, career or the shape of your image in someone’s eyes. Whether that be love and the person you love. Whether that be you and your life. You and everything you own is at stake every moment the clock ticks away from your life.
I believe in love but I also now believe that the other person is a mortal human being. I believe that in essence every human being is to think for himself or herself. Every human has the right to secure himself or herself. Every human should be taken literally and not for granted. No matter who the other person is. No matter whether that person is the person you thought was destined to be bound to you for the rest of the life and for the life afterwards. It doesn’t matter at all. The other person is just a mortal human being. The other person needs an investment from you, needs to be appreciated by you, needs to be taken care of, and needs to be given respect in return to the love devoted for you.
I believe nothing exists like unconditional love. I believe that mortals don’t fall for mortals by the mere bonding of unconditional love. It’s true that there is such a thing as love but it’s also true that there is no such thing as unconditional love. I now believe that love is a mirror. It’s only conditioned to show you back what you show it in the very first place. It’s only conditioned to give back to you what you give in initially. It’s only conditioned to get unconditional if at first you are unconditionally involved with it. I believe that unconditional love needs a condition of being unconditional with it.
I believe in not letting go. Whether that be your interests, your career, your hopes, the image of yourself in your own sight, the one you love or the person you want to be. Whether the other person is not giving you what you think you deserve, whether he’s not giving you that unconditional love you’ve devoted, whether he’s being uncomforting in your life, I believe in not letting go as far as you know that you are the one he’s with. I once read a story about a gold miner who kept on digging for a long time without any luck and gave up eventually only to discover at a later stage in his life that he was just a couple of feet away from all the gold he had been looking for. That man regretted his entire life the moment he let go of the digging.
May be the mirror in front of the other person is getting all blurred up and not showing him the unconditional love he’s getting. May be the situation needs some time in getting fixed, what if the last step you refused to take was the final step towards what you always dreamt about? What if I would have been awarded, had I been patient till taking this last step? And it happens more often than we realize that the thing we wanted was ready to welcome us just a step ahead. I believe in taking that last step ahead no matter how difficult the times are.
I believe that a belief is the most powerful gift from God to men on earth. It’s a belief that unites you with you creator. It’s a just a belief that there is a creator who so perfectly created everything that since the dawn of this universe, we are still trying to discover the amazing miracles He performed and yet we are here with just a fractional understanding. A mere belief equips you with a God, with a Creator, with a purpose, with a reason worth living for and with a purpose worth dying for. I didn’t believe in fairy tales or mere chances of luck. I never believed that ‘not letting go’ could be this much important. But as a matter of fact it is more important than I think it is. Belief in something is more important that I realized.
I have always been hiding and running from SUMII. But now it’s time to confess that the essence of my life is SUMII. If I gained anything in my life, it’s SUMII. If there’s an insight and an upside for me, if I earned anything in my life and if anything is important than all of the rest, it’s SUMII.
We all live our individual life, have our individual goals, separate journeys, distinct destinations, unique taste and are rushing towards an alone death. When it’s time to do something that I have to do, it must be done by me. No one can stand up and do it for me. No one can eat the food I need for my body and donate the energy to my body cells. No one can watch a movie and lend the enjoyment to me. No one can live his life and die my death. Sometimes some things need to be done individually.
However along our journey towards our distinct destination, we make friends. The whole point of making friends is to enlighten the distance to be covered. But we get stuck in a constant habit of comparisons, constantly counting the things we have and that others have. Constantly envy others successes and enjoy others weaknesses.
It hurts when we lack the thing we want, when we can’t find the pill that would bring happiness and it hurts even more when we do not know what we actually want, what would bring happiness to us. In chaos, when we look at others and the things that bring happiness to them, we start yearning for the same thing for us. It’s like a patient of cardiac disorder yearning for the pills used for the treatment of tuberculosis. We get jealous for ones who have discovered their happiness brining pills and get sad for us for not having the same thing.
The actual focus which should be onto finding our own destination which at times gets blurred under the reflections of other’s milestones. We can easily go astray if we do not stop for a moment, take a deep breath and have a look around. Put out our own personal instructional manual from deep inside the heart, get the map cleared and locate ourselves onto the journey we set for us. Aspirations are the street lights that illuminate the patches to the road that would take us to the doorstep of our dream destination, parallel roads however beautiful they see, will never be as delightful, as soothing and entertaining as our own original destined place.
You should not compare yourselves with others, you don’t know what their journey is about.
One should never let the aspiration get buried under the burden of depression. Aspirations are there to enlighten the burden of darkened moments inside heart.
Day’s about to end but still it’s Christmas
Exclaims Santa it’s not him whom I miss
I told him he’d understand, I knew
I wanted to see what this Christmas brought new
Santa when heard this, laughed at me
I got surprised a little just as was he
All Christmas brings is but a present brand new
The joyous days of an entire year is the present for you
Now you take this present and live the whole year
May the old demons of the dark don’t come near
Make a vow with your power so bright
To everyone around you, you’ll bring happiness and delight
A joyous entire year is what Christmas brought
Days full of cheer is what I got
Having received my present I said to Santa Claus
We’ll meet the same day next year, with a bigger round of applause
The story starts with some aspirations and dreams that one sets for a lifetime. At times life seems too small for all the things to be accomplished, for all the journeys to adopt, for all the milestones to be achieved and for all the battles to be won. A person keeps on spending his days and nights in pursuit of a better tomorrow. Every time when you have a chance to enjoy a joyous moment, you sacrifice it because you’re indulge into something urgent.
When I was a kid, our class teacher told us a story about a man who wants to climb up the highest mountain when he sees up from the valley. He tells himself that he’d have nothing more to accomplish if he reaches the top of this mountain. When he gets there, he sees another mountain, higher than the previous and it feels that there is nothing more to accomplish after this one. On reaching the top of this higher mountain, he finds that there is a top even higher than this one and he sets his journey for that one and the process goes on.
Today after all these years, I find myself trying to reach the top of a mountain which is higher than the one I just reached out. It appears that I am not going to end this journey, rather this journey is going to consume me till the end. It appears that happiness is not about reaching your destined place, happiness is about enjoying the journey to reach there. Happiness doesn’t lie in perfection rather happiness lies in the process of making things perfect. Happiness doesn’t come to you when you stand with the people who are already happy, rather happiness is what you feel when you try to get someone out of sorrow to make him happy. Happiness is all about letting go what you couldn’t achieve and focus on what you can have.
You’ll feel happy the moment you defeat your regrets, start to admire your present, set yourself free of the conflict of capability and incapability, break the rules of a never ending competition and finally start living.
How I loved it when it was new
How I loved it when the one standing beside was you
How I loved it when the souls came closer
How I loved it when holding hands, we flew
How the distances developed the void
How I deny the comfort of heart is destroyed
How I sold my soul to yours
How from the feeling of love, life is devoid
How should I tell you it’s you who I miss
How you meant to me, how you was a bliss
How the idea of your departure rips my soul apart
How dark the skies get when I tell that you’re no longer my princess
And so it happens they say
Live the moment while you may,
For the moments fly on the ride of time
Then there’s no harmony there’s no rhyme.
There will be something, some other day
You’ll find her somehow, in some way,
All you need is to hold on
It’s not everytime that you get con.
It’s just a spell of your own mind
Don’t let the call get you from behind,
Look up for your destined shine
It’ll be all right, you’ll be just fine.