Walked toward an end- dead
Laid down, rested his head
Told not to get up
Neither for water, nor for bread
Without the spice, goes that taste
Ran to manage that hasty haste
When bliss is a ‘satisfaction’ from ‘now’
Its ‘now’, he shouldn’t waste
It’s when the hunger of life grew
When he stopped his soul to chew
When he said, “It’s for him this time”
It was then he decided to start anew
I remember myself asking a question from my high school science teacher. The question was that if we kept on absorbing the knowledge for a huge part of our lives, when we were eventually going to utilize everything we learned and absorbed all through our lives. I was probably looking for the sentence that we need to utilize the knowledge we absorbed previously to absorb the newly discovered knowledge.
The age was anxious, the question was simple enough but was insightful. I don’t remember the answer he gave but I do remember that since then, I’ve been trying to figure out a lot of questions. It’s simply curious that how curious a man can get in satisfying his curiosity for answers. It’s simply curious how this piece of meat has spiritual needs which demand something other than the need of another mere piece of meat. I have found out a lot of answers since then. And unfortunately while finding these answers, I have stepped across a lot of doors that are now locked and have shut themselves down upon me when I want to go back. Now I want to unlock and go past the barrier of time but I cannot do so. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get the door unlocked to provide me a safe passage back to that beautiful zone of my comfort.
In discovering the answers, in letting go of dear ones, in forgetting the amount of care needed to take the decisions to come across a door that cannot be unlocked once you get on the other side, I have gathered an understanding of what happened and a wisdom of what should have happened. The understandings I gathered, I now call them as Some Untold Manifestations of Insights and Ideologies-Ubiquitously Manifested and Understood as my beliefs, admirations and affirmations.
I believe that there are no backups. There are no backups for your actions, for your plans, for the ones you love and for the ones who love you. There are no backups for the time you spend. There are no backups for the loss you suffer when you go around with the attitude,” What do I have to lose?” Well the answer is that it is you that you are going to lose. You’re going to lose it whether that be your time, health, youth, career or the shape of your image in someone’s eyes. Whether that be love and the person you love. Whether that be you and your life. You and everything you own is at stake every moment the clock ticks away from your life.
I believe in love but I also now believe that the other person is a mortal human being. I believe that in essence every human being is to think for himself or herself. Every human has the right to secure himself or herself. Every human should be taken literally and not for granted. No matter who the other person is. No matter whether that person is the person you thought was destined to be bound to you for the rest of the life and for the life afterwards. It doesn’t matter at all. The other person is just a mortal human being. The other person needs an investment from you, needs to be appreciated by you, needs to be taken care of, and needs to be given respect in return to the love devoted for you.
I believe nothing exists like unconditional love. I believe that mortals don’t fall for mortals by the mere bonding of unconditional love. It’s true that there is such a thing as love but it’s also true that there is no such thing as unconditional love. I now believe that love is a mirror. It’s only conditioned to show you back what you show it in the very first place. It’s only conditioned to give back to you what you give in initially. It’s only conditioned to get unconditional if at first you are unconditionally involved with it. I believe that unconditional love needs a condition of being unconditional with it.
I believe in not letting go. Whether that be your interests, your career, your hopes, the image of yourself in your own sight, the one you love or the person you want to be. Whether the other person is not giving you what you think you deserve, whether he’s not giving you that unconditional love you’ve devoted, whether he’s being uncomforting in your life, I believe in not letting go as far as you know that you are the one he’s with. I once read a story about a gold miner who kept on digging for a long time without any luck and gave up eventually only to discover at a later stage in his life that he was just a couple of feet away from all the gold he had been looking for. That man regretted his entire life the moment he let go of the digging.
May be the mirror in front of the other person is getting all blurred up and not showing him the unconditional love he’s getting. May be the situation needs some time in getting fixed, what if the last step you refused to take was the final step towards what you always dreamt about? What if I would have been awarded, had I been patient till taking this last step? And it happens more often than we realize that the thing we wanted was ready to welcome us just a step ahead. I believe in taking that last step ahead no matter how difficult the times are.
I believe that a belief is the most powerful gift from God to men on earth. It’s a belief that unites you with you creator. It’s a just a belief that there is a creator who so perfectly created everything that since the dawn of this universe, we are still trying to discover the amazing miracles He performed and yet we are here with just a fractional understanding. A mere belief equips you with a God, with a Creator, with a purpose, with a reason worth living for and with a purpose worth dying for. I didn’t believe in fairy tales or mere chances of luck. I never believed that ‘not letting go’ could be this much important. But as a matter of fact it is more important than I think it is. Belief in something is more important that I realized.
I have always been hiding and running from SUMII. But now it’s time to confess that the essence of my life is SUMII. If I gained anything in my life, it’s SUMII. If there’s an insight and an upside for me, if I earned anything in my life and if anything is important than all of the rest, it’s SUMII.
How I loved it when it was new
How I loved it when the one standing beside was you
How I loved it when the souls came closer
How I loved it when holding hands, we flew
How the distances developed the void
How I deny the comfort of heart is destroyed
How I sold my soul to yours
How from the feeling of love, life is devoid
How should I tell you it’s you who I miss
How you meant to me, how you was a bliss
How the idea of your departure rips my soul apart
How dark the skies get when I tell that you’re no longer my princess
There is no you, it’s just me
You’re just an illusion of the dream that I did see
And here I am standing at the point right where
Life handed over me, my part of the share
The disaster makes its way from the insides
When I don’t see her sitting besides
Whom is to blame, who would have me bleated
It’s your aroma inside me from what I got defeated
You tell true when you say we all have a dark side
Life’s not fair, love’s not that wide
The mere idea makes me shiver
That you’d stand besides for then and forever
And so it happens they say
Live the moment while you may,
For the moments fly on the ride of time
Then there’s no harmony there’s no rhyme.
There will be something, some other day
You’ll find her somehow, in some way,
All you need is to hold on
It’s not everytime that you get con.
It’s just a spell of your own mind
Don’t let the call get you from behind,
Look up for your destined shine
It’ll be all right, you’ll be just fine.
At times, destiny and fate are not considered as one. One can surely very uniquely distinguish fate from destiny. It would be just a matter of some delicately placed synonymous words and there you will be standing with two different definitions in your hand. At a later time, someone else would define luck as the third stake holder of the market. But we all are aware of the essence of these words. We all are well familiar with the feelings these words convey. It one of those things when people have different names for the same thing in different geographical regions.
It is one of those things when people refer to the Divine by different names, namely Allah (in Islam), Jesus (in Christianity), Bhagwaan (in Hindi) and certain other terminologies are present in different religions. It is just a matter of delicately placed synonymous words and there you will be standing with the two different definitions in your hand.
But we all are aware of the essence of these words. We all have experienced it in our lives at one time or another. We all have listened to the religious myths and we all have believed/disbelieved those at one time in our lives or the others. In one way or another we all are waiting for that glorious end to arrive and reach us, like when watching of the movie, you just keep watching so to end it. We all know the essence of these things.
We are the people of the new era and we can write destinies with our own hands. We manipulate the stars, we talk to the skies, we challenge the horizons, we construct history, we foresee the future, we prepare for the unexpected, we dream what we want and we do what we desire just because we are the people of the new ear and we can write destinies with our own hands.
We have long left the stone-age customs behind us. We have long forgotten the older religions. We are well equipped and perfectly capable of controlling each and everything. We are the people of a global village who can fly to mars. Why shouldn’t we claim to write our own destinies with the inks of our intellect?
I used to be one of those believing that my destiny doesn’t lie in the mere pattern of the lines in my hands. I used to be one of those setting very high targets. I used to be one of those enjoying a high sense of achievement when a difficult task is successfully completed. But in some scenarios, I realized that no matter how much effort I put in, the situation remains the same. In some scenarios, I realized that while achieving all the things, I was just there in the right place, at the right time when a click of destiny pulled me upwards. I realized I am not the one controlling systems and humans.
When you’re very tired from a losing race, it’s then you start the analysis. It then you truly evaluate the underlying factors behind your previous success. It’s then you start questioning your abilities. It’s then you tell yourself to have been a fool for taking that illusion as reality when the reality was something else. It’s then the reality comes to you and tells you that He is sitting up in the skies, watching you very closely, Who can limit you any moment He desires or can take you upwards anytime. It’s just He, who has been in command in the previous ages and in the ages we are to embrace next. At times, He tries you make you realize his presence via your successes and when you don’t realize that, He can turn the table around any time He wants.
This is when i get back to wondering about the beauty and authority of saying of ALI (RA):
I HAVE RECOGNIZED ALLAH THROUGH THE BREAKING OF MY INTENTIONS.
That I love you,
Trust it, and why would you
These are just words, unworthy, undue.
How to make you believe me
You and I are meant to be we,
Through my eyes, can’t you see?
Inside this heart, full of love, there lies a sea.
For you, I’d wait and wait
Till approaches that moment in my fate,
When you arrive back in time or belate
Till the end, for you, I’d wait.